Hello? Are you still there? Believe it or not, I’m still here.
Life has been happening in all directions and at all times. Long story short… I’m not returning to work at my old job. My back-up plan for work didn’t workout either. My husband is returning to college soon. Our lease is almost up at our current apartment, and we haven’t decided whether to renew or move. I recently took a last minute opportunity to travel to Oklahoma to visit my family for a week. Grayson crawls everywhere and gets into everything. …And that’s just recent happenings in my little family’s life. Life goes on with our friends and extended family that we are close to, and that has kept us busy as well.
To be totally honest, I’ve almost always been able to make life happen the way I’ve wanted it to. I don’t mean that in an entitled or bratty way… Whether it’s my strong willed personality, luck, or a combination of both, I mean I’ve figured out how to make things happen. Even when life has thrown me a curve-ball (or two), I have figured it out and made it work.
At this point, I am finding it much more difficult to take control of life the way I once did, or thought I did… Actually, let me revisit that comment I just made saying, “I don’t mean that in an entitled or bratty way.” I don’t mean to mean it in that way, but I’m beginning to think it’s true–true that I’m a bit of an entitled brat. Don’t get me wrong, there are several things I’ve had to work my ass off for. But, overall, life has seemed to workout for me. I think I’m very spoiled.
The happenings of life as of late are giving me a much-needed reality check. It is mentally and emotionally draining that my plans haven’t gone as planned–even more so that the back-up plans haven’t gone as planned! I’m winded from curve-balls hitting me in the gut and knocking the breath out of me.
No pain no gain? Is that saying true? It’s certainly true that the muscles have to be strained to grow them. It’s certainly true that to gain endurance you have to push to the point of exhaustion. So, yeah, I’d say no pain no gain.
At first, when things didn’t go as planned, I felt weak and my confidence plummeted. It’s taken some time for me to realize that these “curve-balls” may have hit to not only make me stronger, but also to put me in a place that’s even better for me and my family than what I’d originally planned for myself. I’m motivated, and I’m moving forward.
With all that’s been going on lately my mind has been loud, but my voice has been quiet. I have sat down several times to write a blog post, only to end up hitting the backspace key over and over. My pride has kept me from saying, “I didn’t get the job,” or “I’m not sure if we can afford this or that.” However, I’m finding that honesty, open mindedness, and willingness are essential in far more areas of life than just my recovery.
Life happens. Bring on that curve-ball… I’m ready to swing. 😉